"The 411"

My photo
A small, luminous portal, somewhere on the western edge of the Atlantic, northern hemisphere, 3rd rock from the Sun
When I was about 7 years of age, I stood in the middle of Robin's Field Primary School's playground on a glorious, cloudless, autumn day in London. Gazing up, a burst of ceruleun sky seared through me. I had been awakened from a deep, protective state of numb. Future decades jerked me back & forth on the teeter- totter of life. Great ups, miserable downs, nanoseconds of breathtaking joys, infinite hours deep inside pain. A couple of years ago, I began to hit the mercurial Wall o' Menopause. True to self, I went at it, head first, in a pool of icy hot sweat, the proverbial sledge hammer. Spiritually & emotionally, I was drained. Empty. As in "this well was D-R-Y." Of everything. Time passed & I began waking up again - just like on the playground. In reality, I must say, I really like this side of 50. "The best is yet to come ... "

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Ha! Ha! Ha! He! He! He!

To the tune of "Little Brown Jug"

(sans the incomparable Glenn Miller Orchestra)

Ha! Ha! Ha!

He! He! He!

I've finished all the shopping.

Am as broke as can be.

Ha! Ha! Ha!

He! He! He!

I think I'll take a Xanax,

Dream of life that's debt free!!!!!

Yes, indeed. By 9.38 this morning, I handed over my last 2 dollar bills along with 35 cents for a much needed morning caffeine jolt, namely diet-soda-on-tap & a spare.   Over.  Just like that!

Shopping done, wallet totally empty, conscience clear, I headed home feeling just a trifle smug. While nearly everyone was in the church of their G0d, I was worshiping in the near-empty Temple of Wal-Mart, loving every little yellow ball reduction. I was just so grateful for Sam Walton's vision, while also feeling that my necessity to fullfill the annual bi-denominational guilt shopping extravaganza is indeed helping some 3rd world workers, who one day may be our employers, & I will show them their still wearable clothes, remind them that I supported them once in the day & ask them to treat me kindly ...

I know, many of my friends groan in birthlike agony at the mere thought of a Wal-Mart adventure. I went from Needless Markup (aka Nieman Marcus) to Wal-Mart in less than 6 months.  Now that was one WICKED, WICKED wedgie! Time & necessity & humility & gratitude have a tendancy to turn things around. Lemons became lemonade.  Ironically, some of most favorably commented upon outfits have come from Sam's Club & have long outlasted any Sak's Fifth Avenue garb.  

Quick shout out, however,  for Jaeger.  My black, wool jacket is nearly 20 years old, is as fab & chic as the day I got it & miracle of miracles, it STILL fits me whereas nothing, but nothing else does!  Not that's quality of design & workpersonship for you.

I digress ...  Back to praising Wal-Mart on this, the busiest shopping Sunday before Christmas ...

"Where else can you get a poster frame, Matzo Meal, a patriot pillow to sew as a gift,  some batteries, a spanish dictionary, dog ear cleaner, Osmocote, jeans, cuttle fish, new" cauliflower" for Toby (dog collar in Vicar speak), wine, I-tunes gift card, lactose-free milk & a dvd?

GOD BLESS AMERICA!!!!! Thank goodness for Wal-Mart.

Hope you get through these last couple of days ...  just wrap & B R E A T H E ...  wrap & breathe .... or do as we did - gave our kids their Chanukah gifts in large trash bags!!  

Recycling, baby, recycling.

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